All That Glimmers- Maggie Lawson/The Art of Chewing Crayons

These moments climb on me
like a wet dog
neglected of maintenance,
the stench of which
clings  like shame to empty bones.

Someone heard me echo,
and my hollowness revealed,
I deflated on sharp truths.

Once a delight in a child’s hands
now scurried away
lest I choke the poor mite.

Is there nothing to secure me?
No anchor bold enough
to prevent the constant wreckage
of self on self?

Duplicity is a war of one-on-one
and I cannot win nor lose.

What good is tethering
without a stonghold?
My eyes ache and drag
dry in their caves,
chaffed by constant to’ing and fro’ing
as they plead for land
or the surface;
such is my disorientation

that I know not whether
I’m to swim
or climb
or fall
to safety (or if there’s safety at all).

I’ve been caught
singing after the music stopped
and my insufficiency
rings loud  in the glaring silence.

People forget that
in the brilliance of full sun
you can’t see a damned thing
no matter how wide-eyed you are.

I should have known
that glittering horizon
wasn’t my new dawn
but another fucking train.

It’s ok,
you can look away,
shelter your eyes
from my shameful nakedness
because I’ve got eyes enough for all of you.

I break,

I bleed,

I falter and fall.

I am not invincible.

Not today, anyway. 

You can read more of Maggie’s writing at The Art of Chewing Crayons

3 thoughts on “All That Glimmers- Maggie Lawson/The Art of Chewing Crayons

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