YOUR ABSENCE IS A BURGLAR- Kindra M. Austin

I’m running out of poetry; your Absence is a burglar of words and rhythm. You’re the one who’d always told me to write my heart out. Just write, baby girl. Tell me, how am I supposed to cope with the loss of my goddamned verses? Who am I, if not a writer?

***

I wandered way down cobblestone,

deep in fog exhaled from lungs.

Mourning mind preoccupied,

my flitting feet followed instinct—

landed me at Dimwit dive-bar,

Old Town.

Somehow,

I ended up supping a ginny Gin Rickey.

 

Stood

in the nook at the

billiards table, a beatnik boy-toy of

Nimoy stature floated me a

hawk-eye look; affixed a fag to

his bottom lip, and

I just knew he was the type who

liked

Wuthering fucking Heights.

***

What comes next? I have an idea, but can’t seem to execute it. I’ve been staring at this piece of shit for five wasted days. I’m too consumed with thoughts of you. And damn it, I’d like to be able to write about some other things now and again—in between fits of losing my mind over visions of you alone on the kitchen floor, and your blank eyes staring into nothingness. Shit, I’d like to put head to pillow at night without having to recall the scent of death that cleaved to your apartment despite the bottles of bleach that were used to clean up your leaked fluids.

Mother, what am I supposed to do? I’m so fucking tired of writing about you.

But who am I, if not a writer?


Kindra M. Austin is an author (information on her book can be found here), artist, and a Sagittarius Valkyrie from the state of Michigan—Go Detroit Red Wings! She likes her drinks corpse stiff, music loud as fuck, and classic big block muscle cars. You can find her filing through the souls of the slain at poems and paragraphs.

Author: Sudden Denouement

A Global Literary Collective

47 thoughts on “YOUR ABSENCE IS A BURGLAR- Kindra M. Austin”

  1. “I just knew he was the type who

    liked

    Wuthering fucking Heights.”

    You had me at these wonderfully withering lines. Also, I just realised with this entry that you are a fellow Sagittarian. Not that I believe in horoscopes, but it’s nice to have a sister.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jimmi. I really do dislike Wuthering Heights. For me, that novel is equivalent to “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You” by Heart. I despise that song, and turn the radio station whenever it plays.

      I have a Sag brother?! This is quite exciting to me, because of all the signs, I do believe Sagittarius is among the best. ❤ Too bad we don't have a secret handshake.

      Okay, I'm getting weird now.

      Like

  2. Holy mother of all that is rad and wicked cool! What a fun piece to read. Feels like a stream of conscience morphed together with intricate words that are deeply felt. In lther words: fucking awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on SPO_OKY and commented:
    “I’m running out of poetry; your Absence is a burglar of words and rhythm.

    Kindra’s rare ability to express grief is so raw that I find myself crying real tears.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. There is so much pain reeking from every word of this poem. Sometimes the loss of losing a very close person either leaves you numb or so much overwhelmed that no emotions seem to surpass it. Sorry to hear about your loss Kindra.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. There is so much I could say here, about who you are as a writer, how deeply your writing about your mother has resonated with me, how you have spoken about loss in a way I have rarely experienced it, given it new language, new fluency, new texture. But I think what I really need you to know is that with each poem you write, I take a step closer to my own abyss of loss and think, just maybe, its finally time to slide open those barred doors and . . . speak. You make me feel braver. You make me believe.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Christine, your words have pierced the back of my eyeballs, and caused that strange acidic lump to form under my tongue. I admire you, and it means everything to me to know that my poems touch you so deeply. Not because it’s flattering, but because I strive for, and live for making connections to others. You are among my favorite human beings. I appreciate you, and I love you. Thank you for all of your love, and encouragement. ❤

      Like

  6. “What comes next? I have an idea, but can’t seem to execute it. I’ve been staring at this piece of shit for five wasted days. I’m too consumed with thoughts of you. And damn it, I’d like to be able to write about some other things now and again—in between fits of losing my mind over visions of you alone on the kitchen floor, and your blank eyes staring into nothingness. Shit, I’d like to put head to pillow at night without having to recall the scent of death that cleaved to your apartment despite the bottles of bleach that were used to clean up your leaked fluids.”

    I love you, Kindra. I told you that I missed your writing and I do…I did. This piece moved me to tears,, for your mom and especially for you without her, yet while I was reading this, all I could think of was how fucking GOOD it was. You just get better and better. I am so proud of you.

    You’re still grieving. I know how it feels, how the subject always comes back to them…how they passed, how you feel without them, how you miss them still… Don’t be hard on yourself. Write it all out, if that’s what you have to do. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Allane, you are one of the few who truly get me–you’re someone who knows where I live and breathe. I’m so grateful for your friendship, and for your constant support, encouragement, humour I added the u for you) and love. You are one of the reasons I keep on keeping on with writing. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that before. You’ve always been in the ring with me, and I will always be in the ring with you. I love you endlessly. xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dearest girl, I feel exactly the same. I nearly threw in the towel lately (what’s with all the boxing analogies?) and the reason that I came out fighting (enough already), is YOU. Love you. Hearts and shit xx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LOL, now I all can think about is Rocky’s face after Thunder Lips had beaten the fuck out of him. You know, I’ve found Sly attractive, even when his face was properly arranged. Anyway, I never want you to quit writing. You’re something special. More hearts and shit to you xo

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hahaha….I have ADRIENNNNE ringing in my tired brain now. I always found him attractive also, much more than the chiseled features of Dolph Whatsisface. If I think about quitting, I think of you and what a support you are to me. Allane and Kindra, blowing sunshine up each others whizzways since about 2007 (or thereabouts).

        Liked by 1 person

      4. LOL! My favorite Rocky film is Rocky IV with Dolph Lundgren. Because I love that Rocky uses the elements to his advantage in regards to training, while Drago (Dolph) trains in some kind of weirdo, high tech gym. Plus, Rocky’s motivation in this film is purely because his BFF was killed in a match by Drago. Drago–the emotionless Russian. Anyway, yes! A&K, I like it!

        Like

  7. I will tell you from my experience it does get easier but you’ll burn a lot of pages between now and then,the smell will never leave you but its strength gets lessen,I use to curse the gods because this one passed and I at least wanted to dream about them and couldn’t the words are a blessing as well as a curse,the words put images in front of you that sometimes you wish they would hide,fuvk it just write
    My dear sweet Kindra
    As Usual Sheldon

    Liked by 1 person

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