I am late
to the designated place
excuses ready, half-truths at hand
you are oh-so-lovely in shell pink
your soft lips offered
I kiss your cheek instead
unable to meet your guileless eyes
the bar is dark,
dimly lit by bare lightbulbs in glass jars,
hanging by copper wires
from the ceiling.
the smell of warm beer
cigarettes
and musky aftershave
forces its way into every nook.
it is loud and crowded tonight
my nerves jangle
I scan the crowd half hoping she is here
half hoping she is not
this place is a favorite
you have seen her here yourself
waiters float between tables
like human candles
black and white ghosts
in a castle of money
and make-believe.
there are big men at the tables
decorated by pretty girls
in jewels and lace.
A friend of a friend of a friend
I ran into her when you were away
innocent, just a shared drink, a laugh
not so innocent the second time
or the third. . .
clouds of smoke
hover,
making me drowsy.
I pinch myself, hard.
my skin shimmers in the fogged light,
shadowed corners suddenly
illuminated in yellow,
pink and blue.
I nod subtly
in acknowledgement
to the witnesses of my past crimes
their lips sealed
engaged in their own dark dealings
above the murmur of the guests,
a song begins to play.
right on cue,
your cold hand brushes mine.
I spot her across the room
she is cool as a cucumber
low-cut dress, crimson lips
her look reminds me
that not so long ago I left her bed
her hair tousled, lips bruised, lying
languid amongst silk sheets
the room twinkles as the girls rise
dark shapes moving
through the mist
towards the checkerboard clearing
tired, your touch wearies me.
something is different tonight,
you are different.
shy, perhaps nervous –
you do not hold me as you did before.
there are familiar faces
gliding past us
as we dance.
I am hot and cold,
sweating and chilled
heartbeat hammering
turquoise dresses,
crystals and purple satin,
ruffles and curls,
mirrored shoes
and crisp shirts.
I love you, sweet girl, truly
but she is my addiction, an obsession
I hate myself
for wishing I was still in her bed
people stand, silhouetted
around us
like circus-goers.
I do not realize at first
that she and her friends
mimic our trajectory to the dance floor
I try to focus on you, not them
a waiter trips, glass tinkling
as it smashes
like stars
on the wooden floor.
an old man lights his cigar
from a match
between the teeth
of a girl in green.
the air feels cold and unfriendly,
the steps unfamiliar.
I am distracted, torn
the pounding of the blood
in my ears drowning out the beat
of the music
we have danced a thousand times
but this night
feels like the first again, I think.
you move before me
yet you are not with me,
you swirl in a place unknown to me
I struggle to maintain
my composure
her friends keep looking at us, at me
turning back to her, they whisper
their laughter cuts through the din
their knowing looks sear me
I watch your eyes –
as you catch mine
you stumble.
you fall against me,
forcing me back against a table edge,
scores of pain leaping down my spine.
moment of truth
you see the betrayal in my eyes
my feet fail, I fall further
cause you more pain
feet stagger
chairs clatter
lights flicker
hot tears
i wipe my stinging eyes
and through the dirty light
a slither of gold snaps out of sight
guilty feet
gone
and you do not come back for me
I have never seen so clearly
how flawed and faithless I am
unworthy
suddenly there is nothing left
but goodbye
This tribute to George Michael is the first collaborative poem written by Sudden Denouement Literary Collective’s Lois E. Linkens and Christine Ray of Brave and Reckless. Hopefully it will not be the last.
The mood! Elegant and sultry; dirty high-class. Lust, guilt, fear. I liked this.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Mick!
LikeLike
I would cut that “good bye” and keep galloping. Yippee!
LikeLike
i have that attitude trying to keep george michael alive!
LikeLike
Oh, I do love this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you!
LikeLike
thanks so much!
LikeLike
This is truly wonderful nice work
LikeLike
Thank you so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thankyou for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A gorgeous collab, indeed. Well done.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Nicole! Your work amazing work with Stephanie was a major inspiration to try this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s really cool, thanks for sharing that with me. You two definitely nailed this one. I love collaborating with other writers, sometimes it flows so quickly and other times it’s infuriating, but it’s always special.
Did you happen to catch The Seven Deadly Sins on TLC? That was an epic collab, still my very favourite.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks Nicole!
LikeLike
Absolutely stunning … the two of you a single melody …
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
As in, other writers collabing as well. So good.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hope this sets off more collabs! Love it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Sam! Lois writes so beautifully and is such a pleasure to work with. I realized immediately that this needed to be dialogue– the biggest challenge was working out the backstory in my head and then giving my protagonist a voice and some humanity. I would definitely be up for participating in othet collaborations and can think of some other cool and exciting pairings. I was really inspired by Nicole Lyons’ amazing collaborative pieces with Stephanie Bennett-Henry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Girl, I k ow exactly what you mean, remember, I’m the complete freakin’ nerd who used to role play writing on message boards lol. We’d have like, 3 paragraphs or so of third person inner workings and outer actions. It’s fun tho.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you understood my dilemma– I had to understand why they were together, why he would stray, AND how badly he would feel about it! Then I found his voice.
LikeLike
this was so much fun to do, loved working with Christine! i really hope that more collaborations start appearing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Enticing and heartbreaking. Beautiful writing.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you Mark! Lois gets all the credit for the heartbreak.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Mark– so glad it resonated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks so much for reading! glad you enjoyed it, i have read it so many times and never fail to get my heart broken!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on RamJet Poetry.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on lois e. linkens.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful collaboration ladies!!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Many thanks Olde Punk!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Olde Punk. Lois is awesome to work with! We are both also Nirvana fans and I am still intrigued with the idea of a Heart-Shaped Box riff. I would also love to experiment with some collaborative writing about an intimate encounter from dual perspectives. Wow, I want to blush just typing that, but I do think an intimate encounter from both the male and female perspective could be intriguing and enlightening. I’ll just go back to work now.
LikeLiked by 2 people
thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person