Writing Happy



In my next life I want to write happy, funny stories of weekends that went off without a hitch, photos of back-slapping with funny hats and exotic drinks. I will have a happy, quirky blog chronicling my life of leisure and success. I can’t write those stories, it isn’t my life, and if it were, I wouldn’t be able to write about it. My writing comes from dark places of hunger and pain. I find words peaking out of restroom in the middle of the night, face pressed against the cold, glossy door. Gasping for air, fearful of shadows. There are no words to be captured in neatly set tables, left-overs and urbane exchanges dumped in the trash; my words are born of starvation. I sat in front of the computer for ten years in my martial home, patting my protruding belly, waiting for something profound to say. Nothing. Blinking cursor on blank document. It is pain that drives me, wakes me up in the middle of the night, sending me under the bed with pen and paper to scribble out secret passages detailing stinging fear and loss. I waited on inspiration for a decade in a happy house, and it always managed to sneak out the side door gracefully, leaving disappearing footprints. With each new notch I find in my belt, I find out more about myself. I discover illicit secrets and explosions of ecstatic emotion that give way to words falling out of mind, through fingers, into the world.

Jasper Kerkau

13 thoughts on “Writing Happy

  1. Happiness not always pushes us to write or gives us ideas. It’s the sadness that gives us ideas. I understand because I too write short stories that have sad nature and sad endings. What comes out as words is what one feels(if the person is an emotional one, I being one).


  2. I enjoyed your blog a great deal. Look forward to reading more in the future. My favorite piece was the short entry about eating: concise and well written.And your entry about the Olympics was well-written and informative.

    And I agree, it is all about finding a way to get through the day. I felt bottled-up/constipated during the time I was not writing. It is a release, perhaps a means of self-discovery.

    I so enjoy reading the blogs of others and giving/getting feedback. I have learned through this experience that a) I am not alone in my feelings b) there are a lot of really good writers floating around, just trying to put one foot in front of the other.


  3. ‘I sat in front of the computer for ten years in my martial home, patting my protruding belly, waiting for something profound to say.’

    It’s funny because this is something I am currently facing. Especially the part about the protruding belly. Also, I do agree with you to some extent, that when you are in a state of flux, you have more to write about and more ideas and feelings to bat around. That’s one of the reasons I began my blog, to feel better. It’s working, I guess. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I disagree about the rich people. They just pay someone else to ghost-write their books for them. I’m like LionAroundWriting up there in that my creativity is practically nil when I’m in a good place. For me, like for you, it’s pain that pushes me enough to want to spit something out. Loved your post. The idea of the different lives was marvelous.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you so much for taking the time to read. You opinion is very valuable to me as someone who is a fan of your work–one day I will learn to write great short stories. That is a interesting point about people with money not becoming great writers. From personal experience, I couldn’t write a word in the midst of domestic bliss. But, at some point, in order to evolve, I have to break through that inability. Again, thank you for taking the time to read.


  6. The idea that tragedy = inspired writing genius although romanticising, doesnt tend to hold water, but I love what you wrote and the style.
    Strangely there does seem to be some need for hardship at some stage. Theres a reason millionaires dont become writers. In fact rarely does anyone with money.

    I used to write only when depressed. But now I do it no matter the mood. But when happy, my productivity does tend to go down a bit.
    I wouldnt do anything else though ☺ ramble over.

    Liked by 3 people

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