Pool Party – Jasper Kerkau

I hold my breath and float to the bottom, thinking of the mess I have to clean up. My life is falling apart.

greta-nissen

At some point, towards the end of the night, I get into the pool with my clothes on. Adults are on the patio talking in hushed tones about divorce and lost nights from the early-nineties. Kids laugh and squeal, chasing each other through the house and around the pool. I hold my breath and float to the bottom, thinking of the mess I have to clean up. My life is falling apart. I gave my debit card for someone to get orange juice an hour ago. I ponder this and pull myself back up and repeat the process several times meditating on the mess, the residue from ribs, beer bottles, mistakes, dead ends. Eventually I sit on the edge of the pool and try to light a cigarette. My fingers are wet. The cigarette breaks. My f’ing luck!  My son waves with a big smile, he is elated. I love you daddy. I lean over and hug his small, wet frame in the pool. My mind races. I have to get up. I have to get up. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. Eventually the house empties. I put the kids to bed and darkness washes over me. There is no path. I have to start over tomorrow. I have to keep moving.

Jasper Kerkau

Author: Sudden Denouement

A Literary Collective

5 thoughts on “Pool Party – Jasper Kerkau”

  1. Thank you for taking the time to read and your kind words. The pieces written specifically by me have silent film actresses. I did that to help identify author, and I like the look. I created the blog, with several others, after experiencing a sudden divorce and unwinding of my life. Though I didn’t specify, the wife left.

    Like

  2. There’s such a melancholy throughout this piece and the dissonance of the party and lively kids with how the narrator feels inside.
    The recurring sinking to the bottom of the pool is so evocative and ultimately a reflection of their emotions.
    The one thing that threw me off was the picture. And yet the narrator is the dad…so has the wife died or somrthing?

    Like

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